I know, I know.I’m late to the Siri Sucks party.In my defense, Siri’s degree of suck has increased.
Siri never used to trip when asked what month it is.Apple’s designers the glow effect though.It’s not just that Siri has steadily fallen apart over the years.
The floor for what’s expected of a system like Siri is quickly rising.Meanwhile, Siri is waiting for someone to decide if maintenance can feasibly repair the elevator while we all take the stairs to the top of the world’s tallest building.Maybe Apple will ship those Apple Intelligence upgrades to Siri next year and surprise us.
But there’s been a vibe shift, and the Siri vibe was never all that stellar.A voice assistant that conquers Siri’s failings deserves another name.It may even require another provider.
Siri is certainly more polished than when Scott Forstall demonstrated it on the iPhone 4S in October 2011.Siri really was “blow away” technology at the time.Now Siri is “go away” technology to many.
In the past, calls to pronounce Siri dead made me roll my eyes.Throw Siri out and replace it with what? CarPlay or AirPods without Siri? Voice commands are essential to these experiences.But that can be true without Siri.
Drastic measures are needed to extinguish this particular dumpster fire.Piling more junk on top of this system with a long expired sell-by date will only prolong the burn.Damage control is possible.
Start by discontinuing the Siri brand.Declare Siri complete and in maintenance mode.Add no new features.
Cull features with the highest failure rates.Call the remaining features Voice Control.Don’t break the wake word, but consider a less personified alternative.
The problem set for Siri has always been vast.Adding a heavy AI layer may only multiply possible failure points.Salvage the Apple Intelligence brand by defining it based on what has shipped.
Choose three pillars.Writing Tools: autocorrect for your ideas.Notification Summaries: what you need to know.
Generate: tools as creative as you.Apple won’t do it, but it should allow AI voice assistants like ChatGPT Advanced Voice Mode, Google Gemini, Amazon’s upcoming Alexa+, and Perplexity’s voice mode to have more system integration.This would mean the ability to be invoked without unlocking the device, using Voice Control to summon, and through satellite accessories like AirPods and Apple Watch.
This could be a brighter future.Stick to your strengths, Apple, as a platform provider and creator of high quality hardware.Otherwise I can’t shake the feeling that AI-first hardware will make the iPhone come off as a great camera with a nice system design and amazing silicon that greatly lags behind on system-level AI capabilities.
Amazon’s Fire Phone may have ended in a fire sale, but I would be willing to jump to an Android phone with deep ChatGPT integration today.That’s the greatest vibe shift for me personally.I’ll end with what I wrote Apple indefinitely delayed its more personal Siri: Best Apple accessories Wireless CarPlay adapter iPhone MagSafe battery USB-C iPhone charger Apple AirTag AirPods 4 AirPods Pro 2 Apple Pencil Pro Follow Zac Hall on X, and listen to Runtime with co-host Sophia Tung on Apple Podcasts and YouTube.
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